Stage 3

[unasked_for]

[He doesn't filter this, because he doesn't actually...know how, at least not very well. Besides, who outside his world is going to care? But he probably would, otherwise.]

Some years ago, I was injured fighting on Seheron. A group of qunari rebels took me in, tended to my wounds. They were...admirable, far beyond my limited ability to understand at the time. They taught me things I hadn't realized I was ignorant of. I owed them my life, and far more. Had I been given the chance, I might have stayed with them permanently.

...instead, I killed them all. I slaughtered my saviors on the orders of the man I hate more than any other.

There are many things I will never forgive him for, but that...that is chief among them. And neither will I forgive myself.

Comments

[Action]

[unasked-for.livejournal.com]

[Fenris had almost forgotten about Sara, and certainly hadn't expected her to overhear. He turns around sharply, eyebrows raising.] ...Sara.

[He...isn't sure what else to say. Their relationship as not!father and not!daughter is...rather strange, all the more so since their waking droning. Something of his drone self's affection for her as his daughter lingers, and even before that he felt some degree of responsibility for her, but - he's not sure how much she just overheard, or what she'd think of any of it. At least the others from Kirkwall would understand the circumstances, and he didn't count on anyone else caring, but Sara...]

Re: [Action]

[strayprincess.livejournal.com]

[It was rude of her to deliberately eavesdrop. Sara knows that. But she's worried. For her part, Sara's feelings towards him are as conflicted and unsure as his towards her. She feels a sense of duty, even borderline affection.

And his story touches something inside of her.]

I apologize. I know I shouldn't have listened.

[She swallows hard.]

I...I heard everything.

[And then, she gives him the tiniest smile, in an attempt to be reassuring.]

[Action]

[unasked-for.livejournal.com]

I...should have been more cautious. [He shakes his head slightly. He'd have preferred her not to know what he's capable of, the things he'd done in the past, but then he should have remembered that being on the phone - a device he still doesn't understand much - doesn't preclude people from overhearing him in person.]

...you'd be better off not knowing.

[Action]

[strayprincess.livejournal.com]

No. You don't need to apologize to me.

[That's what those words are, after all. An apology. Even if he doesn't say them with so many words. Sara takes a deep breath. It's hard for her to formulate her thoughts; it might be hard to say them out loud were the town not urging her on as well.

She steps forward, hands half-clasped, half-twisted together.]

Don't hate yourself.

[Action]

[unasked-for.livejournal.com]

I... [Fenris pauses, the words having trouble forming.] ...I don't know if I hate myself or not. I hate many of the things I have done, at my master's behest, and I hate how ignorant I used to be. But I may not know myself well enough to hate whoever that may be. Or perhaps all of my hatred is reserved for others, and I have none left to spare on myself. I am hardly fond of myself, but beyond that - I cannot say.

But I - thank you for your concern. [Especially in the face of what he'd just confessed.]

[Action]

[strayprincess.livejournal.com]

You don't have to thank me. If we're going to live together, shouldn't we look out for each other?

Does it make you feel any better to hate them? Does it help?

[She's genuinely curious; she leans against the wall and peers at him as she awaits his reply.]

It sounds exhausting.